With every mistake that I've made
I have grown, sometimes I feel like my mistakes were my true friends that I held on to.
Whenever I looked at the sky I've seen a part of me floating with the clouds.
My mistakes have seeped in my blood, and sometimes when I breathe I remember some events.
The past has become a mere shadow that might always stay a reflection, but will never define me.

Why I write

I was wondering about why I write, and who I write for - my words are selective, they're like the birds inside a cage waiting to be set free - but not just by anyone. I write for the ones who connected to the world, to people - I write for the girl who doesn't quite fit in her clique, and for the guy who just doesn't understand why his buddies can't think of anything but the football game.

I write for people who notice things that mostly go unnoticed.

I set my words flying in the vast sky, and they wander around in different places, some notice them, and some dont.

The 12th House

The Astrological 12^th house has an aura of mystery. Pointless to say that none of the astrologers have a clue about what it possibly means. Sure, we look at celebrity charts.. but then again how many celebrities give out their original year of birth, hour of birth ..so on?

After days and even years of researching about the 12^th house, I thought I’d write my take on it.. shouldn’t be so difficult since I do have 5 planets in the 12^th house. You can’t possibly define something that you’ve never experienced, and me having Venus, Uranus, Saturn, Neptune, and Sun in the 12^th house passes me the torch to ‘talk about’ this mysterious house.

Having majority of my planets in the 12^th house has taught me seclusion, the caged feeling – a life devoid of simple opportunities that we all have. It’s as if you’re living inside a room, you have food, you have clothes, you pretty much get anything you want.. BUT you do not get freedom. Now how’s that for a life? Pretty frustrating you think.. try living it. And we 12^th house people do live these lives.. because we have the inner strength to do so. Always 2 sides of a coin, we are the ones who face various difficulties in life that others wouldn’t be able to handle. Every fellow 12^th house-mate has a unique situation, but they’re all handling it. If your 12^th house planets make good aspects then you gain maturity, you become the Agony Aunt or Uncle for the clueless clan out there. With the bad aspects, we start substance abuse and alcoholism.

I recently came across a 12^th house analysis here http://www.odivinorum.com/blog/?p=69

The author writes “Imagine karma is like a river and all along the river in different spots, people have set up wheels to turn the water. Some people are in calm areas, others turbulent, some shallow, some deep, and so on. Now some happen to work with fresh, clear water and others find their wheels bring up murky water where a lot of waste has collected. This is the 12th house.” - Now I personally don’t like to think of the 12^th house as the ‘garbage can’.. but it might be true. Why the uncertainty? Because one’s treasure can be another trash. All 12^th house people have different problems, and if they talked about it with fellow 12^th house mates they’d definitely find that their problems indeed have solutions. The 12^th house causes pain because of it’s ability to drag you out of society and put you in places where you are alone and out of reach (ex. Hospitals, prisons, etc.) . Strong aspects to the 12^th house and/or 12^th house stelliums can make a person want to hide, or just stay quiet in front of everyone. We might feel that no one will understand our situation, or we might feel safe when we’re all alone. But that’s how we suffer. By being completely ostracized from people, from loved ones, left all alone with a life that seems unbearable.

You don’t know what you have, or who you can become unless you meet someone who recognizes your potential. And with the 12^th house people, there’s the potential that most of the time goes unnoticed because of their own habit of hiding or being afraid to come out.

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that shes back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that theres time to grow, hey, hey

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
Im afraid that she might think of me as plain ol jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know youre wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way.

Can you open your door right now and take a walk outside?
Without thinking about anything, without feeling the least bit unsure?


If you can, then I envy you! And it's not only me. There are a bunch of others who'd kill to be in your shoes right now. Does it help to know that there's always someone out there who's more miserable than you are?

Should that make you feel thankful... or a bit sad that as you smile right now, someone out there is in pain?



*Image source: http://flickr.com/photos/robfew/507787628/